Written by Daniel Stern

I had spotted this old/tired, but still soldiering-on, '64 Dart wagon behind the Belcaro Ace Hardware store a couple of summers ago. I inquired and found that JoAnn, a nice older lady who worked in the hardware store, owned it. I had parked my Valiant next to the wagon, and when the store closed we swapped stories about the cars. The Dart had a MoPar Cool-Aire underdash air conditioner which didn't work because, she said, she wasn't going to charge it up "because of the environment." It also had a "new" (only 10 years old) power steering pump. And it needed a valve adjustment and a radio antenna, and a choke thermostat. We had a tentative (she said she'd think about it) deal where I would fix the antenna and the choke, and in return I'd get the air conditioning system, but she decided not to do that because if she ever sold it, she wanted it to be original. Over the next couple years, I saw the Dart a few times. It accumulated a skoash more rust, a dent here and there, etc.

And then, at the end of last school year, my parents relayed the message. "Come and get the Dart--I'm done with it!" I got home, called up JoAnn. She said she'd bought an '85 Colt (I kept my mouth SHUT) and was finished with the Dart after 31 years (her father was the original owner). Come and get it, she said. In fact, she said "As far as I'm concerned, it's YOUR car." So tonight, I called JoAnn and told her I was ready to get the Dart. She came and picked me up in the Colt (I kept my mouth shut again!) and just as it began to pour down rain, we got to her house. There it was. Or, as she said, there "HE" was. "HE" was "Hud." As in the movie.

She held my flashlight as I opened the hood and took stock.

I had brought along my MoPar manifold heat control valve solvent, and sprayed it, but that valve was STUCK, so I put it away and reached into my "getit bag" for the carb cleaner. JoAnn didn't like that.

With an indignant look on her face, she admonished me "Put that away, dangit! Just get in the car and turn the key! You have no faith!"

I quickly apologized and got in the car. Stomped the gas five times. Turned the key.

Chuweh-deh-deh-VROOOMtickatickatickatickatickatickatickatickatickatickat ickaticka!

It started on the first try, but BOY do those valves need to be adjusted--it sounds a bit like a diesel of some sort! But it was running. She hopped into the passenger seat as I gingerly punched-up reverse. Click-chuk, and we were in reverse. Headlights, check. Turn signals, check. Heater/defog, check, and NO LEAKS. Backup lights, nonexistant. Seat belts, covered by seat cover. Power steering, dead. But we were in reverse and the engine was running. So I killed the dome light and hit the gas. Backed out of the driveway and hit drive. Click-chuck, engage. Whaddya know--this thing actually runs pretty well! It shifts smoother than the trans in my Valiant, and even has better acceleration! (Must be the 3.23 gears.)

She warned me that one axle is bent due to a crunch in a snowstorm, but said it hasn't affected tire wear.

So she gave me the owner's manual, title, and bill of "sale" (with "NO CHARGE" written on it) and original California black plate and I drove off into the night. As the Torqueflite silently and smoothly shifted through the gears, this crazy grin spread across my face and I laughed and patted "Hud" on the padded (but cracked) dashboard. This was gonna be fun! I went to the grocery and got two cans of Gunk, and then to the car wash and cleaned-up the engine room.

The engine is tired--the red oil light comes on at speeds below about 1200 RPM and it smokes when I rev it, but I found a newish sticker on the driver's door--someone put 10w30 oil in this car! I bet five quarts of 40 or 50 weight will stop the smoke and turn off the light.

And I'll have to do something about the power steering--it's a sometimes thing, as in SOMETIMES if you rev it up the power steering becomes "power" again, but then it becomes stiff manual again. Clogged hoses? Anyone? And I'll need a new door check spring for the driver's door. And a new right side interior sunvisor, and it needs some bodywork. But the tailgate glass still works, and I know where there's a '66 Valiant wagon in Oregon just waiting to donate its electric tailgate and straight doors. And I'll need a set of headlight rings (wonder if that '64 wagon is still at Parkin's in Cottage Grove?)

This is gonna be fun.

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